I Remember Now ~ The House of Me. Part One ~ Pastor Tim Tengblad Post 78

There is an image I keep in my mind that helps me understand my experience as a human. I call it ‘The House of Me’. It’s an adaptation of Michael Singer’s teaching on sitting in the seat of Self.

In this house, there is a front door, and there are two chairs sitting close to, and facing, the front door. In one chair sits my ego. In the other chair sits my True Self, rooted in its Source. The two sit together and greet any and all experiences that come through the front door – experiences that include people, circumstances, feelings, and thoughts.

They constantly sit next to each other, but they respond to everything coming through the front door in completely different ways.

My ego judges everything that comes through the front door. I hear it saying, “I don’t like that!  I like that! That should have never come through the door. I want that. I don’t want that. That is bad. That is good. It should be more of this and less of that.”

It often talks about what it needs to come through the door, because it always needs more. More affirmation. More attention. More being told it’s worth something. It needs something else. Nothing that comes through the door truly satisfies it. “Next!” it’s always saying.

My True Self has a completely different experience when it greets everything coming through the door. It only does what it came here to do. It experiences. Everything coming through the door is an experience. Nothing more and nothing less. It’s not ‘good’ or ‘bad’. It just is.

That’s not to say that my True Self is not affected by what comes through the door. It is. That’s why it came. “Ok, “ it says, “Fear has just walked through the door. There’s despair, exhaustion, frustration entering. I’m now experiencing it. This is what it feels like.” My True Self takes it in.

My True Self is not threatened by anything coming through the door. It knows its indestructible truth is found in the Divine architect of ‘The House of Me’.

This spiritual odd couple?  It’s good they are together.

My ego serves its purpose. With all of the angst it brings to the relationship, it helps the True Self truly experience everything that comes through the door. The pain and emptiness it brings create fertile soil for my True Self to stand up, grow, and be remembered. Through all of it, my ego’s insatiable hunger and insecurity can grow smaller. Well, sometimes.

My True Self has no problem with the ego sitting next to it. It sees it for what it is in all its neediness and fear. My True Self has compassion for the ego, and can thank the ego for helping it grow. The True Self can do so because it knows its sitting companion, while seeming so real, is only an illusion. An illusion of separation from the One(ness), and everyone and everything coming through the door. An illusion that is the source of its constant fear. My True Self can even learn to see how funny the ego really is, and laugh at the things it says and does. “There you go again. You’re funny, in a needy kind of way.”

I once heard a speaker encourage everyone to name their ego. I named my ego, Jesse. I have no idea why I named him that, but I’ve learned that Jesse can help me come to know my Higher Self, by helping me see the differences between them. Naming my ego has helped me see it as an experience, rather than just a concept.

When Jesse does his thing, I talk to him. “Ah, Jesse. There you go again! It’s ok. I understand you.” But I can only do so when I’m in the seat of my True Self.

We can learn to gradually spend more time in the seat of the True or Higher Self. It’s a lovely view. I’ll share some observations from there in the next post.

For now, what would you name your ego in ‘The House of You’? I hope you can learn to appreciate sitting together.

You are Love,

Tim

I welcome your comments, questions, and stories.  timtengblad@comcast.net

 

 

Tim

Tim Tengblad
timtengblad@comcast.net

Read my Bio in Post 1