I Remember Now ~ Tim Tengblad Post 2
In this second edition of I Remember Now I need to tell you a bit about my lifetime with Jesus. That was a pivitol lifetime for me and has shaped subsequent lifetimes. It also is a big part of how I see where the Church is on or off message with his teaching and life.
As Echo mentioned in one of our earliest coffees she said something like, “Mind if I tell you something? What would you say if I told you…” and thus began my learning about our time together as Jeshua and Paul. We first met at the School of the Essenes, a desert community committed to study, spiritual growth, and the honoring of women in an extremely patriarchal society. The issue of how the religious and social cultures limited and kept women in their place was very important to Jeshua. He was already far advanced from me spiritually, but we became good friends and would spend nights looking up at the stars and pondering the great questions of life. Rings true for me. My natural bent is still in that direction in this lifetime.
We stayed connected and when Jeshua was in the area, we would often meet in the mornings over a drink we had together. Echo says we would add honey to it. We would spend time being quiet together before God and then would go about our day. Our relationship was “like two guys getting together over a beer” as Echo describes it. I was someone Jeshua could just be a guy with, and laugh. He absolutely loved to laugh! He had a tremendous sense of humor!! His life, especially the last three plus years, took a lot out of him. People either didn’t understand him, were opposed to what he was teaching, or always wanted something from him such as a healing. So I was a safe and relaxing place for him and we loved our time together. Jeshua was always growing and expanding and he knew I basically got what he was teaching and learning and that I respected it all.
As Echo would tell me these things I was at first in awe but it never felt weird to me, but always felt peaceful and true within me. It always felt like coming home to a dear friend and wonderful times.
In a past life regression on my lifetime with Jeshua, I saw that I became involved in a more established religious community as a leader (Rabbi). I also saw my leather shop where I made my living. I saw Jeshua at our daughter’s wedding celebration, and I had a visceral experience of the anger I felt after his crucifixion. I was amazed at how strong the feelings still were within my soul.
Visiting the Akashic records revealed that I was afraid to totally take the leap in spreading Jeshua’s message. I was afraid of what it would cost me. Jeshua was patient with me and believed in me. A confidence I felt was undeserving. Eventually I honored my Truth and his teaching, taught his message, and it did cost me in that lifetime and subsequent lifetimes. It cost me my position, family, friends, and even my life. I was branded a witch and in one lifetime I was burned at the stake.
The Akashic records revealed that this has been the arc of many of my lifetimes. Doing what was acceptable, yet knowing this Truth within and being afraid of honoring my inner Truth. A challenge for me was always valuing myself enough to declare that I really did have something authoritative within me. Eventually I would find the courage to live my Truth. It cost me but I always came to the conclusion that it was more than worth it. I knew such peace when I did. This was the pattern repeated again in this lifetime as Pastor Tim Tengblad. When I began remembering my inner Truth, I was very afraid of what my Church would say and do those last 6 years I began speaking Jeshua’s Truth and the truths of reality. I was curious about that fear. Where is this coming from and why is it so intense? More on that later.
Not valuing and honoring what you know to be true deep within you. Fearful of the consequences. Sound at all familiar?
I tell you these things to let you know that what I will say about Jeshua (Jesus), the Church and it’s message, the Bible, and Christianity does not only come from books and professors. Most importantly it comes from a visceral place deep within the DNA/energy of my soul and its experience.
On we go to his message as I came to know it. Remember I would love your questions about the Church, the Bible, Christianity or your experiences within the Church or organized religion. I will respond to them in this column without including your name, and will leave out any details that may point to you. Remember you are Love!