New Years Resolutions?????
I’m not really sure what to call this blog. New Years Resolutions? Food? Diets? Surrender?
It’s really about a little bit of all of it. A lot of you know that I did the HCG diet 4 years ago and lost 30 lbs. I felt great and got a lot of compliments on how I looked. My joints didn’t ache anymore, my memory got better, I felt younger and happier.
Then my life became stressful again and I slowly, very slowly became that statistic that says the majority of people who lose weight gain it back in the first year plus more. The very statistic I swore I would not become.
As this new year was approaching, I of course started thinking about dieting again. Just get me through the holidays so I could eat everything I wanted to, and then January 1st, I would go on a very strict diet and once again lose the weight. Seemed like a plan I’ve had every December since I hit puberty.
Weight Watchers? Atkins? The Fast Diet? The Bone Broth Diet? Jenny Craig? Oh brother. The list went on and on of all my options but something happened that made that all stop. I looked at my number one culprit and once again it is sugar. My love hate significant other.
The year that my mom passed away she told me she wanted to make amends for not being a good mother. I said, “ You’ve been a great mother. What are you talking about?” She said when I was a baby, she didn’t know what to do with me when I cried because she had never been around babies and never babysat. She didn’t hold me and the only way she knew to nurture me was by giving me a bottle. My grandfather who died when I was three was my nurturer and when he died, she would just feed me when I needed something. She was a young mother, an only child, so all of this was new for her. Baking cookies and other sweets was her way of nurturing us. She would make a cake every Sunday night for the family to eat while we watched Ed Sullivan on our black and white tv set. Our dad LOVED sugar treats, so sugar was a big part of our diet.
I’m sixty eight years old and sugar is still my nurturer. It fills a void, or so I think. It makes me happy when I’m sad. It takes away loneliness. A sugary treat fills my stomach before I go to bed. No matter how many diets I have been on in my life and no matter how good thin feels from every aspect, I always go back to my so called nurturer. I don’t need Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig to lose the pounds I’ve put back on. I need to say good bye one more time, one day at a time and give my body a break from this ridiculous cycle of up and down.
I’m blogging about it because I don’t think I’m the only one here who uses sugar to nurture the pain, stress, loneliness and depression away. If I want a clear mind, no inflammation, no more groaning every time I move, than this is the diet plan I need. Get off sugar and find healthy alternatives. Is it really necessary to starve myself on 500 calories a day? Doesn’t it make more sense to look for what it is I resist surrendering and go after that one. On February 3rd, I will celebrate 44 years of sobriety. I never thought I could live without alcohol or pain killers for a bad back. In 1988, I quit smoking and believe me, I NEVER thought I could live without my Benson and Hedges. Maybe 2017 I give up the sugar once and for all. The idea of it seems daunting, but I’m thinking if I apply the same AA principles to my original addiction (sugar), I just might be able to do this, once and for all, one day at a time.
What about you? Do you have a primary addiction to something? Is it getting in the way of you having the body you want? I know it’s different for all of us with a weight problem. I’m just thinking instead of getting all crazy and spending hundreds of dollars on a diet system, maybe it’s time for us to simply surrender the very thing that is making us unhealthy. It’s a thought and one I wanted to share with you.
We have a brand new year thank God. The hatred and anger of 2016 had to come to some kind of close. Only time will tell how the election results are going to change the world we live in. Many people are feeling helpless and hopeless but we aren’t helpless or hopeless when it comes to our own bodies and health. We’ve got a new beginning, so let’s go for it. Become the people we want to become and live the lives we want to live. Happy New Year my friend.
Love,
Echo
Echo, I will be 68 this month. Reading your journey with sugar is mine too. I have become lactose intolerant, gluten intolerant and I’m finding it is hard to find things I like anymore.
So, I like to drink a glass of wine most every night, of course that is full of sugar. I found some gluten free cookies that I love. (I buy 2 packages at a time) I even want sugar after I eat breakfast. Moral of the story, I’m thinking sugar is my go to friend, but is really my enemy.
I also a only child. Never saw my dad he was always working. Mom depressed and lonely dependent on prescription drugs. Also she was not nurtured as a child so she didn’t know how to take care of me either. Our story is similar.
I have some medical issues to take care of first, but I’m going to work on the sugar dependency and I’m sure other things will follow.
Happy New Year!
Sharon Geiser
I recently concluded a 90 day “WildFit” challenge–lost between 15-17 pounds (depending on the day) and feeling better than I have for many years. I still have 15-25 pounds to lose but now I know I can do it! I took the challenge through an online community I’m part of (MindValley) but WildFit is available individually too, though quite expensive–It includes a LOT of coaching so you pay for all that time with real people.
Check out this video which gives you a pretty good sense about how WildFit works (22 minutes):
http://blog.mindvalleyacademy.com/health-and-fitness/dangerous-ideas-health-medicine-food-eric-edmeades
WildFit is closely aligned with the paleo movement, but it’s different, and aside from the really powerful psychological/emotional work you will do, it’s primary focus is eating “seasonally” (which isn’t the actual season where you live). I think it’s a fascinating program! Here is one of the very first things we learned about…and it’s been a GREAT reminder/resource:
The key to managing our eating behaviors—particularly eating when not hungry—is to pay attention to the 6 Hungers. Remember that, of the 6 hungers, 2 are real, one is a ghost and the others are imposters.
I will explain:
Thirst is a real and important form of hunger. And we deal with it by staying hydrated.
Nutritional hunger is also real and important. And we deal with it by staying focused on foods that help us meet our nutritional needs.
Variety can be a true form of hunger when it relates to our need for nutritional variety. (For instance, eating too much of one healthy thing and feeling a craving for other healthy things.)
Variety can also, however, be a ghost… an emotional hunger (boredom) in disguise.
Low Blood Sugar is not really a hunger but rather a physical feeling of hunger created by a lack of metabolic balance (sugar burning rather than fat-burning.)
Empty Stomach hunger is not really a hunger either but, rather, a physical feeling that we have linked to the feeling of hunger. It is, however, possible to have a full stomach and still feel hungry and, conversely, to have an empty stomach and NOT feel hungry.
Emotional Hunger is NOT a real hunger from a food perspective but it IS a very important spiritual hunger and MUST be satisfied. If we don’t find productive ways to satisfy this hunger we will, instead, find destructive ways to fill it including, naturally, non-foods.
The key here is to notice what is driving your desire or decision to eat… and then to address it properly since, if you are hydrated and eating well, you are probably not really hungry much of the time.
And, another easier way to deal with it is to make sure that the vast majority of the things you eat—particularly when eating when not actually hungry—is to eat foods that are matched to the season you are in and to the WildFit Food Paradigm you have agreed with yourself.
Your mother wasn’t alone. I’m around your age, too. During that time, it was believed that a good mother bottle fed her children, made cookies, cakes, pies and candies. It’s hard to break the correlation between love and food, stress and chocolate.
My sister and daughter are both heavy. I’d be heavy, too, were it not for a stomach condition that causes pain if I try to eat too much, or certain foods. Now, I struggle to stay at 110 pounds. I’d love to eat Pizza with all the things I love on it, or that rich dessert everyone else is enjoying. The price is too high.
At our age, we’re not looking for wolf whistles or thinking our careers hinge on a fine figure. Anyone who doesn’t love the essence that make you who you are, isn’t going to love that essence if the body if 30 pounds lighter.
The one piece of advice I give to others is this: Don’t worry about losing weight. Eat the things you love and enjoy life. Find a friend who loves to walk and plan walks the same way you would plan an important meeting. That helps your joints, outlook on life, and your digestion better than anything. That one, simple, act can change your world.
Echo:
I send Tonglen to my Self, for I’m bound and determined to overcome my restless moods. Then I include everyone I know who’s suffering a loss or struggling with a painful challenge. I draw-in to my healing practice those in my neighborhood, state of Maine, all of New England, the surrounding states, entire country then the globe.
It feels wonderful and freeing, and lands us in much more capable hands than our own.
Universal healing.
There has been so much angst this year. Let us ALLOW, be free of the chains that bind us, shame us, bring us to our knees.
Let us spread the compassion and warmth we have to give.
It heals so many wounds, including the self-consciousness of weight.
Be well, my friends,
We’re heading into a Kick Ass New Year!
Paula
Echo,
Thank-You for addressing this huge and common addiction in millions of people!
I’ve always had a sweet tooth. I found that even with a natural health doctorate degree the addiction didn’t magically disappear.
Recently, I’ve discovered more information on how our bodies react to sugar and also how to help myself to reduce my sugar consumption. I’ve worked out for most of my life and don’t have a weight issue,but still have ups/downs with sugar. It is a Drug! After removing many toxins from my body I’ve found I can have a choice on whether to have sugar or not. I don’t crave it so much! My answer is moderation, and a powerful herbal protocol. I knew a trainer many years ago who had a sugar addiction and was a bodybuilding competitor. She bought a large chocolate bar(organic/real chocolate) and broke off one little square each nite as her treat. Of course she had a really great nutrition program so no issue there. She said it just satisfied that craving.
Through trial and error I’m finding ways to relieve myself of this pesky “friend”! I don’t feel deprived..I feel good!!
Hi Echo,
Someone just suggested to me the book women, food, and God. It looks interesting.
I think most of us have issues with sugar. It’s like a drug.
Hi Echo!
Try going Whole Food Plant Based. You can eat all that you want & still lose weight. It’s something you don’t go off of because it’s a lifestyle change. Eat from the following food groups. Vegetables, fruits, seeds, any kind of beans/legumes, whole grains, purified water; take a B12 SL 2x/wk; aim for organic. Get your fats from seeds, supps ie, flax oil, fish oil for your omega 3’s. Celebrate the fact that you love yourself enough to take good care of yourself, are making your self incredibly healthy, & are protecting the animals from all that cruelty. Become addicted to making the world a better place via activism for a cause you believe in, doing yoga breathing & stretching, creative plant based cooking – take a class. Once your weight is where you want it, then you can add some nuts, & avocados. Avoid cooking oil because it’s processed and pro-inflammatory. Good luck in whatever you choose to do; the universe is with you Echo. Happy New Year my friend! See you on the 16thLynn Putnam
You are right on. They say sugar lights up the areas of the brain that drugs do. You have conquered so much with great humility and love for others I wish for you to nurture you. I understand how you feel it is the same for me. I plan to switch to fruit with fiber and some healthy protein. Lots of water and there is a great walking exercise program that you can do called Walk at Home by Leslie Sansome. I use them and they always make me feel better and you won’t injure yourself. Here’s to a great 2017 and please update us on your journey. Love and light to you
https://youtu.be/DLFQoNxf3Ss?t=3m42s
Hi Echo,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this issue. I can definitely relate in many ways. I too had a problem with alcohol in which I was broke free from about 12 years ago. At that same time, I switched over from the typical American fast food, processed and sugar based diet, in which I was also a food addict. I also let go of many dysfunctional friendships and relationships. This morning after reading your post, I went for a walk while trying to figure out why I still struggle to get my life together in the major areas of career, relationships, and health. I heard ” a voice” while walking which told me that it’s not enough just to let go of bad habits, you have to consistently replace those bad habits and put something “good” or more healthy in it’s place. Wish I would have figured that out about 10 years ago!! Thanks again for sharing and triggering my “A-ha!” moment….
I lost 5 lbs while painting and staining. It doesn’t sound like much but it slimed my hips down. Now I have it back. It’s those long nights alone. I get bored. I went to baking cookies and of course the lbs came back. Long evenings alone did it. Now I know why I stopped making cookies. So I buy. Candy at the store telling myself not to. Now I need to listen to that voice. It’s easy to make excuses for ones self. No matter how much weight we want to lose we all fight the excuses
Thank you Echo for talking about your challenge with sugar.
I’m also recovering alcoholic and foodaholic.
Comfort and nurturing and ways to do that without sugar and food seems to be an ongoing challenge – I don’t think I’ll “graduate” from this but I look at it slow progress from where I started. If someone had told me it would take this long I would have dismissed the idea immediately.
I see the wisdom of day at a time!
Echo,
When my sweetheart confronted me about my sugar addiction it was much like an episode of intervention.
I think God listed self control as the last fruit of the spirit just to REALLY drive home that we need Him. 😉
You might like the book Potatoes not Prozac, by Kathleen DesMaisons. It would go really well with a 12-step approach. It’s not a diet – its’s how to eat to work with sugar sensitivity that underlies the craving for sugar. And she designed the program from originally working with alcoholics, who ended up being very responsive to it.
The potatoes are included as something to eat every night because (as long as they are eaten without protein) they help in the body making serotonin.
thanks for that wonderful blog Echo. I love how honest you were writing this. Sometimes just saying out loud our story helps and feel stronger with the community of others. I like how you tied it into AA and knowing that you can do this.
i too grew up with a mother who baked everyday too. We would come home from school to a home made treat of some sort.
i fortunately never had a weight issue but think my body reacted to certain foods as i grew older. I felt the aches and pains if i ate the wrong things so got on it early. With knowing i have certain sensitivities it has kept me from eating the foods that cause the issues. Its not easy but if we listen to our bodies, and they hurt, it can make it a bit easier to stop…one day at a time.
Thank you and good luck to you, Echo!
I am a 62-year-old insulin dependent diabetic who loves sugar. I think, for me, truthfully, the diabetes has been not an entirely negative thing in that it makes the case for “eating healthy” quite firmly for me; I became insulin dependent at the age of 24, so have lived most of my life taking shots, so to speak. My weight is at the lower end of normal and have learned numerous things about nutrition along the way. Let’s just say I love all food and do not see the use in labels such as “junk food.”
I thank you Echo, for not joining the sugar-condeming bandwagon so prevalent in our culture these days.
I still love sugar and probably always will, especially the milk chocolate variety:) I still give it to myself now and then, in good-sized doses and do not feel guilt or shame about any of it. I guess one could say that I’m guilty of having good taste:)
In the meantime, I found the writing of Geneen Roth on the subject of women and food to be of great help to me many years ago.
In any event, if I feel the urge and it is not a good time to have my sugar, I tell myself that there is always tomorrow, or as the slogan goes: One Day at a Time. This has worked out for me, so I am grateful.
Am also looking forward to a much-needed change in the political climate, so, with that, I wish you a Happy New Year.