Life, Death and All That’s In-Between
What an intense week it’s been and I need to blog about it and connect with all of you.
A week ago a wonderful man named Jim Kowalski, who has been married to my beautiful cousin for fifty years, died suddenly, leaving all of us pretty devastated for many days. Death has been a part of my life’s work since way back when and there’s always been a feeling of acceptance when it happened, but for such a sudden death like Jim’s, it really hit all of us pretty hard.
Death always makes me take an inventory of where I’m at in my life and am I where I wanted to be at this point. It’s a good marker for all of us who are still living here, learning and experiencing as much as we can. His death once again reminded me not to put off till tomorrow what I could be experiencing today, so I decided to get married next Friday, September 20th on my 65th birthday!!!
I’ve shared with all of you that I met a wonderful man who is very different from me and yet very much like me in many ways and my life shifted in a very good way. I was so deeply rooted in my lifestyle of a single career woman doing her work and didn’t think I’d experience any more major life changes at this point, until the Universe showed me there was more to my life plan than meets the eye and I met Jay.
This past Wednesday I worked at The Cottage House which is that adorable vintage shop I work at twice a month. When I woke up Wednesday morning, nothing felt normal. Everything felt off and I didn’t know what it was. I was uncomfortable in my own skin and wasn’t sure what to do about it. There were over 2000 people at Jim’s funeral the day before and I felt raw. Too much grief in one room I later figured out.
It was warm in the Cottage and the co-worker I team with got very sick from the heat and passed out. Seeing her lay on the ground totally freaked me out and when the ambulance came to get her, all I could do was cry. I felt so scared that we were going to lose her as she had stopped breathing at one point. Three hours later, they were calling an ambulance for me as I was having severe chest pains. It hurt so bad I thought for sure I was having a heart attack. Off to the hospital I went wondering what in the world was going on. All the tests came back fine, so I able to leave the hospital but the day had such an impact on me. I felt this very deep sense of wanting to experience as much of life as possible. I’m here and I need to live it. I want to be present as much as possible. Be spontaneous and happy. Find a balance between work and a personal life.
It’s been a couple of days since that experience and I’m still feeling fragile. I’m blogging about this because I know other people are going through intense times right now and I want to encourage you to find the gem in each one of the experiences. Life on earth is a smorgasbord of experiences and we need to take advantage of all that is served up to us. Don’t be afraid of life. Don’t be afraid of change or new experiences. We can all be gone in the blink of an eye like my cousin Jim.
I never in a million years thought I would be getting married on my 65th birthday, let alone meet someone I’m so crazy about. I guess it’s true what they say about it never being too late to start a new life. If you’re in the Twin Cities, come by the Center next Saturday and help us celebrate our marriage. We are having our monthly Aurapalooza and it’s going to be a great day. 5356 Chicago Ave. So. from 10-5:00pm.