He Said, She Said
I need to blog about this Kavanaugh Supreme Court situation. Not him so much as all of the people out there who have been abused sexually in some way and never talked to someone about it.
It drives me crazy when I hear people say Christine Blasey Ford should have gone to the authorities back then. As someone who has been through similar situations more than once, the women are always to blame.
They said we flirted, we wore our skirts too short, we said no when we really meant yes. The authorities chose to stay in denial like everyone else. No one wanted to touch the subject of sexual misconduct.
For those of you have been through any kind of sexual exploitation, I hope you have talked to someone about it.
Not just complained to someone, but literally gotten the memories and feelings out of your body and moved on from it. If you don’t acknowledge it, those memories sit in your body and fester into physical illness.
I’ve worked with men over the years who have suppressed being sexually abused, and now years later are troubled with erectile dysfunction or prostate problems. Women have all kinds of intimacy and reproductive problems.
The good news about the Kavanaugh hearing that’s taking place right now is that it’s bringing up memories of being sexually abused and with the planets lined up they way they are, all the feelings around being abused are coming up as well.
It’s time to shed the old memories and get these triggered feelings out of our bodies. Set yourselves free from the hurt, pain and shame of being victimized by someone.
You know me, I’m always looking for the silver lining and it occurred to me this afternoon that this is a healing time for anyone who has been abused in one way or another.
It’s time to heal.
It’s time to heal the old ways.
Back in the 50’s and 60’s, Playboy magazine was a big deal and men felt they had a right to be as sexual as they wanted to be. Like Hugh Hefner gave them permission to do whatever they wanted to. For a lot of us that had no self worth, we were perfect targets. We didn’t know what the heck was going on.
Parents believed it was okay to sexually abuse their children. Even grandparents felt it was okay. There were no sexual boundaries back then.
The Me Too Movement got things started in December 2017 and now this hearing with Kavanaugh and his accuser are bringing up another layer of memories for people to clear out of their minds, bodies, and souls. Let all of us see this as an opportunity to clear ourselves of past pain and be done with it.
It’s now nearing the end of 2018, and let’s try to see the good that will come out of this. We have learned and continue to learn boundaries around sexuality. Learning to say NO firmly. Learning to stand up for ourselves and stop the victimization. We have a ways to go, but we’ll get to the place where people will stop abusing each other sexually or otherwise.
If you are someone who is filled with pain around this issue and wants to be done with it, please find a good therapist or clergy to talk to. Come and get healings at The Center. We are here for you.
The longer we carry memories that still trigger pain in us, we are setting ourselves up for physical problems at some point in our lives. Don’t continue to be a victim. Fight for yourself to get cleared of any and all pain you’ve been through. Isn’t that one of the reasons we’re here?
Like I always say, Look for the good and you’ll find the good in every situation. Look for the bad and that’s all you’ll find.
We have the power to turn every scar into a star.
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Thank you Echo for commenting on this important narrative that deserves so much more light. I noted that you said “not so much him” and my intuition reads “not so much her” either in this unique and pivotal moment. Wanted to throw that out into the universe and let it sink it. Godspeed.
Thank you for this post.
Thanks for your thoughts on this subject. I especially enjoyed the last line: We have the power to turn every scar into a star. Love that!
I love your comment “We have the power to turn every scar into a star!”. May I copy it and post it at an outpatient hospitalization program at Mercy Hospital? We didn’t have sexual boundaries back in the day and to be truthful we don’t have any now. Human beings are still being abused at the hands of the abusers. Whether it is Brett Kavanaugh or Bill Clinton (remember what happened to the women who accused him? Where are the stand ups for those women today?) or even potentially Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg and all the pedophile accusations coming out of Hollywood, our society runs the gamit. Powerful people or not it still happens. Politically for what it is worth both the left and the right have been duped. They are not for us. It is an unfortunate dog and pony show. Even Stanford says we no longer have a constitutional republic and do not practice true democracy. It is the state against us. It’s the elite and the powerful and the rich against your average Joe and Jill American. We need to have conversations. We need to seek out the truth whether or not we have voted for or know or revere someone famous at present. I have learned things I wish with my whole heart were not true. We need to shine the light in the dark corners and encourage those who have been harmed to seek refuge and comfort to heal from their wounds. I am in the process of doing so myself. “The truth will out!” as Shakespeare says. Kindest Regards, Jeri
Wonderful Jeri. Wonderfully said. Thank you very much.
Echo
Thank you Echo and Jeri, too, for your respective comments.