I’m not really sure what to call this blog. New Years Resolutions? Food? Diets? Surrender?
It’s really about a little bit of all of it. A lot of you know that I did the HCG diet 4 years ago and lost 30 lbs. I felt great and got a lot of compliments on how I looked. My joints didn’t ache anymore, my memory got better, I felt younger and happier.
Then my life became stressful again and I slowly, very slowly became that statistic that says the majority of people who lose weight gain it back in the first year plus more. The very statistic I swore I would not become.
As this new year was approaching, I of course started thinking about dieting again. Just get me through the holidays so I could eat everything I wanted to, and then January 1st, I would go on a very strict diet and once again lose the weight. Seemed like a plan I’ve had every December since I hit puberty.
Weight Watchers? Atkins? The Fast Diet? The Bone Broth Diet? Jenny Craig? Oh brother. The list went on and on of all my options but something happened that made that all stop. I looked at my number one culprit and once again it is sugar. My love hate significant other.
The year that my mom passed away she told me she wanted to make amends for not being a good mother. I said, “ You’ve been a great mother. What are you talking about?” She said when I was a baby, she didn’t know what to do with me when I cried because she had never been around babies and never babysat. She didn’t hold me and the only way she knew to nurture me was by giving me a bottle. My grandfather who died when I was three was my nurturer and when he died, she would just feed me when I needed something. She was a young mother, an only child, so all of this was new for her. Baking cookies and other sweets was her way of nurturing us. She would make a cake every Sunday night for the family to eat while we watched Ed Sullivan on our black and white tv set. Our dad LOVED sugar treats, so sugar was a big part of our diet.
I’m sixty eight years old and sugar is still my nurturer. It fills a void, or so I think. It makes me happy when I’m sad. It takes away loneliness. A sugary treat fills my stomach before I go to bed. No matter how many diets I have been on in my life and no matter how good thin feels from every aspect, I always go back to my so called nurturer. I don’t need Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig to lose the pounds I’ve put back on. I need to say good bye one more time, one day at a time and give my body a break from this ridiculous cycle of up and down.
I’m blogging about it because I don’t think I’m the only one here who uses sugar to nurture the pain, stress, loneliness and depression away. If I want a clear mind, no inflammation, no more groaning every time I move, than this is the diet plan I need. Get off sugar and find healthy alternatives. Is it really necessary to starve myself on 500 calories a day? Doesn’t it make more sense to look for what it is I resist surrendering and go after that one. On February 3rd, I will celebrate 44 years of sobriety. I never thought I could live without alcohol or pain killers for a bad back. In 1988, I quit smoking and believe me, I NEVER thought I could live without my Benson and Hedges. Maybe 2017 I give up the sugar once and for all. The idea of it seems daunting, but I’m thinking if I apply the same AA principles to my original addiction (sugar), I just might be able to do this, once and for all, one day at a time.
What about you? Do you have a primary addiction to something? Is it getting in the way of you having the body you want? I know it’s different for all of us with a weight problem. I’m just thinking instead of getting all crazy and spending hundreds of dollars on a diet system, maybe it’s time for us to simply surrender the very thing that is making us unhealthy. It’s a thought and one I wanted to share with you.
We have a brand new year thank God. The hatred and anger of 2016 had to come to some kind of close. Only time will tell how the election results are going to change the world we live in. Many people are feeling helpless and hopeless but we aren’t helpless or hopeless when it comes to our own bodies and health. We’ve got a new beginning, so let’s go for it. Become the people we want to become and live the lives we want to live. Happy New Year my friend.
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